I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
