You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize