Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
