oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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