Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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