either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
