It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
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