on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
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