i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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