Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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