We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
