Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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