She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize