Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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