he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
