I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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