Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
there is glitter all over my balls
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