I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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