your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
