only if we run a train.
done.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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