i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize