the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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