he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
