Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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