how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You've changed since you got that strap on
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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