I'm gonna have a badass scar
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
