I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
