We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Never underestimate the power of titties
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