Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
