I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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