Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
