i think my mom watched the whole time
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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