Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
