I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
did i just pee glitter
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
