So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
