I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
