this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
