THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
