There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I can't put those talents on a resume
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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