That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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