Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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