Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I love you. Go after that dick
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