no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
