I love black thongs
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
