...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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