i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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