come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
