im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
