Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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