This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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