We're facebook friends in real life
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize
