you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I want her autograph on my taint
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
