talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize