she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize