Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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