gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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