I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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