she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
