Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
