sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
