My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
