Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
