oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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