I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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