Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize