She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It's just like the Real World with babies
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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