I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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