Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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