you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
time to smoke my breakfast
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize