If that was your dad, he is hot
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The Olympian is in my bed
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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